Good touch and bad touch is a tough topic to broach, especially with young kids. But you must not avoid teaching the difference between good and bad touch to your children. This avoidance might prove too costly.
You want to keep your children safe from all dangers. So you must ensure they stay safe from sexual predators and pedophiles too. Such criminals can be present anywhere. At school, or even at home as a trusted relative or neighbor. So it is imperative that your kids know when they are being wrongly touched. And that they can communicate this to you.
Tips to teach your child about good touch & bad touch.
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Open Communication:
Tell your children, again and again, that they can talk to you about anything and should tell you everything. And when they try to communicate, give them your attention. You might be busy with a thousand things. But when your child talks to you about his or her social life or experiences, listen carefully. If you feel they are not telling you everything, ask questions, encourage them to open up. Make the child feel that you really need to know and understand whatever they wish to communicate. That you are there to help and protect them, so they need not hide anything from you.
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Anatomy lessons:
As soon as your children are able to understand, teach them the names of their body parts. This will make them comfortable talking about their body. It will also help them tell you in case someone touches them wrongly. Teach them which of their body parts are private and must not be touched by anybody.
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Use correct language, images, and videos:
Don’t avoid using correct anatomical names while teaching body parts to your kids. You need to give them the confidence that there’s nothing embarrassing in talking about their body. Talk about their body parts in a loving yet practical way.
Children learn more easily by seeing visuals. So you can use appropriate images and videos from the internet to help them learn their anatomy.
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Their body belongs to them:
From the beginning, assure your children that their body belongs to them. Nobody has the right to touch them if they don’t like it. They have a right to refuse anybody’s hug, kiss, and any such touch. Not all these touches will be bad. People often want to hug and kiss kids out of affection. But when a child knows she can refuse such forced affection, she will be more confident in protesting against a bad touch.
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Don’t confuse them:
When you are teaching your children they can refuse anybody’s touch, you must not force them to hug or kiss anybody. You may want them to hug their grandmother or kiss an uncle. But it will only confuse them. Teach them the value of family and love, but don’t force their affection.
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They have a right to protest:
Tell your kids in clear language that if someone’s touch makes them feel uncomfortable, they must say NO loud and without fear. They should tell the person to Stop and scream and run away. And they should tell you about this at once.
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Go beyond the swimsuit rule:
Many people suggest you should teach your child the swimsuit rule. That is, tell the child that all the parts that their swimsuit covers are their private parts. And if anybody touches them, they must say no, scream, shout, and run away. But don’t just stop at this. Most predators don’t begin by touching the child in private parts. They first groom the child by hugging, patting hair, etc. So teach your child to protest if any touch makes them uncomfortable. And to inform you about it.
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Safe touch:
While you teach your child to protest against all unpleasant touches, you must also teach them that touch of mother, father, and doctor is safe touch. Explain to them that even when a touch of parents or doctor feels unpleasant, or when these people ask the child to remove his or her clothes, it is for the child’s safety. You don’t want your child to refuse a doctor’s check-up, do you? Tell the child that they must allow touching of private parts or other uncomfortable touch by parents and the doctor, but nobody else. Explain to the child the reason for this.
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Avoiding people who make them uncomfortable:
Teach your kids that if some person makes them feel unsafe and uncomfortable, they should stay away from such a person. But they should always tell you what makes them uncomfortable. This is essential so you can take the necessary steps to protect your child whenever needed. If your child wants to avoid a person or place, they must tell you why. And you need to listen carefully and understand what’s troubling them.
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It’s not their fault:
Help your child to understand the right touch from wrong. And tell them if they ever experience a wrong touch, it will not be their fault. And they must not hide it. They must not blame themselves for anybody else’s wrongdoing. If somebody touches them in the wrong way, they must not feel guilty or ashamed of it. They should tell you everything so you can help them.
You should start teaching your child about good and bad touch by the time they are two years old. And continue talking to them about it till they are at least seven years old.
Talking about good touch and bad touch is uncomfortable. But preparing your child to recognize and protest against scarring incidences is important. Sexual abuse at an early age can leave long-lasting bad effects. But when your children are prepared against molesters, they can face them better. And they can understand that the incidence was not their fault.
